This is what we do ...

... when Daddy goes out of town:

Poor Eli gets so thirsty (and dirty) that he has to put the hose on himself.

 I try to make it seem like a game, not a raging case of child neglect, and/or endangerment:
Look, what fun! I'm totally paying attention to your needs! Spray Mommy! Mommy is dirty, too!

But really, the kid needs to start pulling his weight. I mean, he's the man of the house this week ...
Ya, that's right, wash Mommy's car. You can pick out your own work uniform.

 And you're small enough, get the underneath side, too!

 When he gets tired I just tell him, hey, if it's good enough for Maggie, it's good enough for you and your giant friends. And look, there's a basket of even more (very gross) friends if you get lonely. Stay in there!

 Poor kid, he has to raid the pantry just to get something to eat. But look, he's industrious, he found a chair in there, too! And that's why I heart Tupperware: just so darn many ways to use it.

 And finally ...

Yes, this is really happening:

And the best part is, when I pulled him up to the sink to wash his hands, he grabbed the head of Mike's toothbrush before I had a chance to stop him! Bwahahahaha! I threw away the toothbrush. But I'll admit, for a minute I thought about not.